McCarron

Blue Ribbon Downs: This one is just too easy………

Del Mar: Spanish for, “where the wax coated plastic fibers meet the surf”

Fair Meadows: An interesting side note on this little known track in Tulsa, Oklahoma is that it was originally named by an individual known for his direct manner. Well Below Average Meadows was the name used at the inception of the bull ring. 

Hollywood Park: Rear Admiral John Bute is credited with the discovery of Hollywood Park. There is currently a debate on the subject, as the living relatives of Thomas C. Claimer are currently fighting that assertion. The Claimer family has flexed their muscle on many occasions as the condition book at the track is now filled with nothing but the races attributed to their surname. 

Los Alamitos: Largely credited to the exploration of the Alamitos clan, a nomadic Spanish group that preferred to travel at night, 870 yards at a time. The head of the group was a notorious cheapskate that often would make change for a peso by giving back 70 centavos. To honor his memory, track management determined the guaranteed Pick-Four would never pay more than $70.00.

Prairie Meadows: Sitting Bull was named as such for sitting in front of a slot machine with a pink phone cord tied around his wrist that connected to his frequent Tee-Pee card at the “lucky 7” buffalo head nickel machine near Altoona, Iowa.  Sitting Bull is credited for coining the phrase, “racino”, which unfortunately at the present, involves very little RAC and a lot more INO.

Santa Anita: Originally settled by Saint Anita or ‘Hot Annie’ as she was known to Paul and Luke. Annie was quite well endowed, which is why many of the male Saints tended to pay more attention to her than the more flat-chested Sabina or plain faced Sofia. This track features a few oddities that no other North American track can boast:

(A)  A downhill turf course with a right handed turn, although ever so slight

(B)   A crowd filled with enormous fake breasts, although ever so fake, to honor the spirit of Saint Anita

Turf Paradise: Paradise is a Persian word with an implicit connection to the Garden of Eden or with Heaven. Turf Paradise, largely due to the quality of the horseflesh and average daily temperature in Phoenix, implies more of an antonymous Hell/Hades/Styx origin.

Woodbine: A group of three young men from Canada are credited with what is known today as Woodbine. Jean-Luc Exactor, Francois Exacta, and Cam Perfecta grew up playing pond hockey together. Aside from a common fondness of hockey, the boys also were uniquely interested in multiplication tables. The three remained strong friends until one day an argument split the group. Collectively, they invented the concept of a horse racing wager that involved the top 2 finishers in exact order. The sheer fame and pride involved with naming the bet tore the group apart. Eventually, Jean-Luc won out and Francois and Cam moved to the United States to start their own pari-mutuel naming legacy. The group has since started to patch things up. Plans are in the works for a live reality based reunion show to reunite the group. Check your local listings, MTV-Nova Scotia, Tuesdays at 3:30pm, the time slot directly after NTRA presents, “Wire to Wire”.

I have just a few final comments on the, “how to fix racing segment” of the blog. There have certainly been some great ideas pondered on this site….much better than most of the current “actions” of marketing staff at the NTRA and local tracks. Collectively on this blog, there is enough brain power (at least as it relates to propelling the sport forward) to formulate building blocks to actually necessitate change. Unfortunately, to my knowledge, no one that regularly contributes to this site is an employed as a member of a local or national marketing effort.

The fundamental issue, as many bloggers have astutely pointed out, is the ineptitude of the people charged with marketing this game.

My local track does a pretty damn good job of appealing to a broad range of people on a micro level. They have a free six week new to the races seminar called, “Canterbury College”. Every Sunday for six consecutive weeks, patrons receive a free lunch (key to attracting an audience for anything) and an hour and a half lecture/teaching session on how to handicap. I filled in one weekend as a “guest lecturer” and was shocked to speak to a crowd of about 100 people. This program is pretty successful as the rate of students that become regular customers is quite high, but only touches a limited number of total potential fans.

Canterbury also does a great job with Thursday and Friday night promotions that feature cheap food and beer. This hardly produces long term fans, but does attract a young crowd that enjoys the social aspect of the races. Canterbury College and cheap food/beer nights are both novel ideas and work well on a small scale.

When it comes to actually marketing their product on a larger level, featuring the substance rather than the side show, they fall into a bad trap. One of their most heavily marketed ideas in years is an “EXTREME RACE DAY” featuring Camel and Ostrich races. This actually makes me sad as both a huge fan of the people and the facility at Canterbury Park. How can you expect potential new fans to take the sport seriously when you market a BS gimmick such as that to the general population? I’ve seen the Ostrich racing gimmick via simulcast from Hawthorne in the past and it actually made me physically ill to the point that I threw up in my mouth. It’s terrible. They run in every direction, slowly and without purpose. Please. Save it for the county fair (and I don’t mean the northern California county fairs where there is ACTUAL thoroughbred racing). What sane individual witnesses that and in turn, comes back to the track to churn money through the windows???

I vow to be nowhere near the track on EXTREME RACE DAY. At least Calder’s dim-witted gimmick day featured real racing (All grey’s, a turf and dirt race at the same time, a 2f race, a race run clockwise, etc.). Again, this is coming from someone that thinks the world of the job that the good people at CBY do on regular basis with just about everything else.

Local tracks, the NTRA, and other bodies with the job of marketing this game should spend less time on the phone with the zoo keepers at the Altoona, Iowa Emu Farm and more time reading the blogs from people that actually have some decent ideas of how to propel the sport forward. Hopefully, some day, this current state of poor, recycled ideas will be long forgotten.

I recently unearthed a fantastic historical document that actually lists the entomology and history of selected track names in North America. Here is a brief excerpt:

 
Aqueduct: Named for one of the Duke of Elmont’s favorite servants.

 
Arlington Park: Latin: hottus buglerus

 
Bay Meadows: Exact translation from greek to English: “Mixed Use Development”

 
Belmont Park: Named for the Duke of Elmont. The little known Duke of Elmont enjoyed traffic, noise, small crowds in big places, and many objects of large circumference. According to the Elias Duke Bureau, he was the only Duke with enough land for a one turn fox hunt.

 
Calder: Latin for old people

 
Golden Gate Fields: The origin of Golden Gate is Latin: “shortus fieldius mia Baze onus the chalkus”

 
Great Lakes Downs: Widely credited to a rare Huron Indian saying, “fix race”

Les Bois: French for “Pig Sled Park”

 
Oaklawn: Without a grass course for a track with “lawn” in its name, this one is quite perplexing. The origin of Oaklawn is actually credited to an Arkansas double-wide trailer owner named Lon. At one time Lon owned the land where track now sits. Lon had an oak tree in his front yard. Part of the purchase agreement for his land, in addition to a lifetime supply of Skoal and Natural Light, was that the track be named Oaklon. Later as a compromise, he agreed to alter the language to call it Oaklawn after also receiving a two year supply of Mountain Dew, Jimmy Dean sausage patties, and a vat of extra long Slim Jims®.

 
Ruidoso Downs: Ruidoso is part of an old Hopi Indian saying: “One that runs fast in straight line for purses of little Wampum”

 
Tampa Bay Downs: Cuban connotation meaning, “jockey ban without probable cause”

 
Thistledown: Dates back to an ancient Greek prefix. The root “thistle” meaning “dump” or more loosely translated, “poop-hole”

9 race card

-7 were won by the post time favorite with an average $2 mutuel of $4.57

-The two races in which the post time favorite failed to win, the second choice came through at $5.20 and $6.60 repectively

-$2 Pick 6 paid $676

-$1 Place Pick All paid $56.80

We’ve all heard about various ways to “save the sport” through the promotion of equine stars, increased media coverage, increased wagering handle, and the hope of a Triple Crown winning savior. These are certainly noble aims, but in many ways unrealistic. A Triple Crown winner will solve absolutely nothing over the long haul. Sportscenter will give the Belmont two minutes of coverage instead of twenty-six seconds. The national syndicated radio sports hosts will follow in kind. Does anyone believe a Triple Crown champion will drive handle or increase interest, especially when said animal is retired as a three year old after competing in the BC Classic? Perhaps a superstar will help the sport in a tertiary manner, but the longstanding viability of the sport still requires something more to put it in the national consciousness instead of the bowels.

Silver Charm and Caesars Ghost both put forth some extremely logical ways to promote the game, but unfortunately industry leadership is too inept to follow any rational course of action to better the game.

This is a slot machine society that is so lazy and so mindless that we actually have perpetual news running on the bottom of the television during the actual news broadcast. This is an age of microwave Mac N’ Cheese. This is an age of information overload. There is a plethora of competition for the gambling and entertainment dollar and horse racing provides too many types of wagers and complexities for the mind numb, slot pulling (or should I say button pushing) society we live in today.

Since Americans seem to really enjoy slots and the lottery, horseracing should make a bold move to join this trend. There is nothing exciting about the lottery process, but the appeal of winning millions of dollars draws people in like sheep. Why not combine the lure of millions of dollars with the excitement of a horse race?

Once a week, a field of 15-20 horses could enter the starting gate under the lights in primetime at different tracks throughout the year that rotate on a regular basis. Patrons on a national level would have the ability to choose the top six horses in exact order as part of a country-wide lottery ala Powerball. The excitement of a horserace certainly eclipses that of watching ping-pong balls drop through a tube and it would encourage new fans to take their gambling appetites to the track once and awhile instead of the slot outlets.

With differing state and national government jurisdictions, as well as red tape with the tracks involved, the idea is probably unbelievably unrealistic………

I entered a National Handicapping Championship qualifying event at a small casino/OTB in Flandreau, South Dakota (pronounced flan-DER for those of you who don't speak fluent Midwestese) run by a fairly well known handicapper, J. Randy Gallo. This remote location draws some of the best fields on the national circuit and is located in the exact center of absolute nowhere.

The field for the Midwest Classic this year included ex-judge and handicapping pundit Dave "The Maven" Gutfruend. The Maven was decked out in his finest yellow European "football" jersey and is arguably the first person in aviation history to have flown from Amsterdam to Sioux Falls, SD (Flandreau is about 45 minutes north of Sioux Falls). I applaud his efforts, as I found the four hour drive to and from Minneapolis past fields of corn, dirt, soybeans, more corn, more dirt, and prairie pretty annoying.

The contest sent three players to Vegas. Unfortunately, my fourth place effort left me just over $1 away from qualifying. Despite the solid prize money for fourth, I'd rather finish dead last than come that close and miss. It made the ride back to civilization pretty rough, especially since an over zealous County Trooper that looked to be about twelve pulled me over for going 70mph in a 65mph zone. I'm lucky there was no search of my vehicle given the large amount of cash in my wallet. Can you imagine the look on his face if I had to explain that the $100 bills came from a "handicapping contest at Royal River Casino"?

Highlights of the day included:

-Some sort of hot assorted meat buffet with optional mystery gravy

-The Maven irately chucking his Forms to the garbage at the end of the day

-Getting pulled over by a teenager in Asshole County, MN

-The free supplemental handicapping contest from Palm Beach Kennel Club (with an equally free hat!). Handicapping dogs sounds a bit like an oxymoron, doesn't it?

-All you can drink fountain beverages

It's a well run event that provides an excellent chance at qualifying as the remote location vastly cuts down the number of potential participants.......